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jessicca_02

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Age : 41
Location : in the land where dreams come true
Registration date : 2008-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:21 pm

Oh and to top it all off, he wants some girl over here on Saturday. Now i wasnt happy with this and insisted the girls folks call me and that they are to be chaperoned all the time (i will not have him getting some girl up the duff or shagging on my sofa). Barb over heard him saying to bring H. Does he think im thick? I know exactly what H stands for and he is not smoking pot in my house or while he lives under my roof. Kids amaze me...they honestly think that you werent teenagers.
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Woz

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:30 pm

You have my sympathy he sounds as bad as my g/f's son, i'm clueless what to with him too and his poor mum is at the end of her tether, to top it all she had one of his mates mum's on the phone last week saying money went missing from their house when he stayed there for the weekend.
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Woz

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:32 pm

As for respect that has to be earned but how does a little git who causes so much trouble even begin to start?
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jessicca_02

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:47 pm

I really dont know the answer to that Woz but have found it beneficial having Martin away from his old mates and should he want to meet up then they have to come here where i can be upstairs keeping an eye. What makes it hard is this school they have got him into. They basically will end up with no quals and can do pretty much what they like. Martin thinks he can behave how he wants as they wont throw him out which makes my life harder. He needs to learn boundries and i cant be there all the time, and if they have no rules then my hands are tied. Because the behaviours have already been learnt, i dont know how to undo them.

What punishment has your gf's mum set?
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Woz

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:18 pm

It's almost impossible to dish out any real punishment because a kid who's been excluded from two schools to the point where no school will take him and he's now tutored at home via laptop clearly does'nt understand consequences, it's too late for that.

She watches with an eagle eye for even the tiniest little bit of good behaviour and pounces on him with lots of praise (like a frigging dog) and hopes for the best. my opinion is he's a little wanker and i've said to her the day he reaches 16 she needs to kick his arse out of her house (she won't of course) and hope that after a few years he comes back as a man, that's all the hope i can see if i'm honest, like i said it's all too late.
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jessicca_02

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:36 pm

Woz, im cant remember how old her son is, but Martin has been kicked out of 5 schools and none will touch him, so he has been put into something called key project which i guess would run in your area too and get your gf some space from him. The only issue is that its for wrong uns and that encourages them to behave even worse and mixes them with bad people that will feck their lives forever.

Does she get help and support from social workers and the likes? Would she consider sending him to his dads and backing up the im gonna throw you from this house threat?
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Woz

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:01 pm

He does do some naughty boys thing a few times a week at a college, it's probably similar to what you're talking about and they just basically piss around taking motorbikes apart.

She gets no help from social services and she has begged his dad time and time again to take niall in but he doesn't want to know, niall doesn't want to go to his dads at weekends anymore either and his dad hasn't even batted an eyelid over it, i think he's given up on him, niall is VERY hard work, not just bad stuff but he's very miserable and feels aggrieved about everything, it's all so unfair apparently, his mum prefers his brother to him etc etc etc, fact is she does and who would blame her! she never lets it show though.
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jessicca_02

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:55 pm

She needs to maybe make the threat of him being kicked out to Social services and then they will give her some support. Has Niall been given counselling? Woz, i have to ask this and please dont be offended, but do you think Niall might be doing drugs?
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Woz

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:45 pm

He's used the threat of social services against her a couple of times, basically "if you kick me out i'll go to them" sort of stuff, i don't think he's doing drugs to be honest but i worry about the people he's mixing with and it's something i think he may well end up drifting in to.

Like i said, i think he's a lost cause, he's been too bad for too long in my opinion, it's a question of tolerating him and all the shit he causes until one day hopefully he'll move out. I certainly havn't got the patience for him but obviously his mum see's it very differently.
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jessicca_02

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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:16 am

Next time he makes that threat, then she wants to drag his arse down to social services and help him pack his bags and tell him that she has just had enough. When Martin kicks off, the first thing he does is threaten to leave so i generally say, come on then, i'll help you pack. We talked last night and he said he had turned down illegal substances for the second day so gave him lots of praise. We talked about his Mum and how she wont leave his Dad and he asked me to call the social worker to arrange a foster family as he felt he was a burden. I told him not to be so silly and if he keeps up his good behaviour then he can stay.
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Chuffing~Bint
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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:08 pm

jess social services arent always willing to hellp... my aunt has her mates 15 year old staying with her she asked foer help they her told no as they were only taking on emergency cases.

Wozber in your area does your local council offer a PYP scheme for youngsters ?? Get your lady to enquire about it as i think this will be very very helpful for her.... my aunts oldest son was going off the rails gettin in trouble bunking off school n the likes.... he got assigned a PYP worker called owen... owen starting coming round once a week and taking jake out for coffee, tea, cinema, snooker it was one on one sessions where owen would chat to jake and get him to open up as to what was going on with him, what was triggering off his behaviour.... slowly but surely jake opened up to owen and told him things he felt he couldnt tel others... in time jakes behaviour really improved... owen saw him fortnightly then... even now more then a year on owen still see's jake as they dont like to cut off all contact incase it triggers passed behaviour to return.... owen even came t a school meetin with us on monday....so consider that.

Also Woz no disrespect here but to you make it obvious you only tolerate him n think he is a lost cause ??

And the bottom line is no matter how minor it is something has triggered his behaviour off, frustrated as you and gf maybe the boy clearly got issues that sum how need resolving and are you 100% sure he's not smoking weed or solids ???

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Woz

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Number of posts : 4781
Age : 49
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PostSubject: Re: Teenagers   Thu Feb 26, 2009 4:22 pm

Cheers bint i'll mention that to her.

He hasn't got a clue that i think he's a lost cause, he's actually said to his mum that i'm more of a father to him than his real dad which is a compliment, i don't have the patience for it though, i know some kids are difficult and some are easy and maybe because my two are so well behaved and respectful it makes it harder for me to understand niall.

Deep down he is a good nipper, he's great with his little sis and he's always got time for benjamin my youngest too but when he lets himself down he really does it with style! I've said to angela many times you've just gotta let him geow out of it, one day he'll come good but it's having a really devastating affect on her and the rest of the kids.
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